25 Game Day Essentials For Fall

Game Day Ready: Amazon Must-Haves for Ultimate Fan Comfort!

Tis the season for some back pain, fa la la la la-la la la la. Ok, only half joking. Since my children began playing sports and one is in marching band, I got voluntold (where you get volunteered by others 🤓) that this is how I would be spending my Friday evenings until late November…for the next 5 years. With that knowledge in hand, I had to make a plan to survive the next few football seasons. These are the things that a few years on this grind have shown me are pretty much indispensable, so I figured it was time to spill the tea.

We all face the same challenges on game night, uncomfortable metal bleachers, questionable food choices, long bathroom lines, no soap, battling the sun, heat or cold and hiking up our pants every time we stand, as to not show our unmentionables to the people seated behind us. Additionally, it’s also our responsibility to make the other team’s fans look like they don’t love their school by outdressing them in our school’s colors. Ok, that last one may just be the former cheerleader in me…go with me people. 📣

From the unforgiving stadium seats to Mother Nature’s unpredictable mood swings, we’re all going to go through it. Fear not, for I’ve got your back with a list of the 25 must have football game day essentials that’ll have the other parents drooling with envy. 😂 I’ve tried to keep it super organized for you guys, so I created 5 sections, with 5 products in each section to get you Game Day ready. Let’s do this! To the bleachers……charge!

Game Day Essentials: Elevate Your Seating Experience

Stadium Seats

Ok, I like soul crushing back pain as much as the next person, not. We’ve all experienced those relentless stadium bleachers that seem to have been designed for torture rather than comfort. It’s funny now that I think about it, since that booty has plenty of cushion on it these days, those damn bleachers should be no match for my dumpy 🍑. That said, when it’s a one on one, multi-hour match between my back porch and the cold metal bleachers, I concede defeat. I went full old person and just chose being comfortable over looking cool. Plus, bonus round, you can look at all the parents who don’t have them and just plain feel better about yourself. What? You planned ahead. You are clearly more intelligent and that should be celebrated. I don’t make the rules people. JK 🤗

Neck Fan

You know how you do you hair and makeup on game day and then put on a cute outfit and go to the game? Raise your hand if you #love being melted by the sun while you cheer on your broke besties, I mean, your kids. What? No takers? Oh good, then you will definitely want to grab this fan. I bought this for my daughter to wear around her neck during band camp this past summer, let’s just say I have full custody now that band camp is over. Sure, people think I am pulling out headphones whenever I first put them on, then they see me go from Sweaty Betty to Cool Clara and the questions start flying. #1 question: Does it last the whole game? I am thrilled to report, YASSS Queen. It sure does. FYI, if you are in ‘the change of life’, buy this for yourself, buy it as a gift for someone else in that season. Do a full on Oprah and pass them out to your mid life girlfriends, “You get a neck fan and you get a neck fan.” #blessed ❄️

Cozy Blanket

Ok, now if you are like me, you already have a blanket around your mid section (thanks mid life), but sadly that isn’t enough to keep you from shaking like a freshman boy asking a girl to his first homecoming on those chilly game nights. Sure, you can bring your boyfriend or your husband and just see if they will volunteer to act as your personal snuggy, but this blanket is just better. Why? Let’s see, it doesn’t drink my drinks, eat my food or awkwardly look at the hot cheerleaders at half time. It’s heated (low key flex to my seatmates 🤓) I love that it rolls up really small and just slides in my game tote. Now, if you know of a man who collapses to travel size when you need to store him, please share the link and I will reconsider my previous statement. 👜

Wallet

I don’t know if your school does this or not, but if you are one of the chosen ones, you will need your bag to be clear (more on that in a second). Since I have been around for over 45 seconds, I know better than to toss the old money drainers into a clear bag, so that all of the world can see my credit card numbers. Hard pass. I just throw my ID (What? I like to pretend I would still get carded. It’s my delusion, leave it alone) and my chosen credit card in there with a few of the ole’ Benjamins. Yeah right, more like a bunch of Washingtons if we’re being 💯. You know, so that you can feed your kids and your spouse at the concession stand with the very same food that they just ‘didn’t eat’ at the house when you made it. 🙄 All of that said, this wallet is great for date night too and it’s awesome to just grab out of your tote and run over to concessions during half time. I mean, I don’t do that. My kid is in band, so of course I watch the halftime show. What am I? A monster. 👹 I was just saying for the rest of y’all.

Clear Tote

I love having to carry a clear tote. Nothing says sexy lady like tampons. I mean, come on guys, where’s the mystery for a woman if you can see all the crazy sh*t we bring with us everywhere we go? Before, guys had to wonder, now, our crazy is just on full display. It’s just so…..wrong. Sorry, had to vent. If you have to carry a clear tote, this one is the best I have found. It looks chic (for an expensive plastic bag 👜 ), it holds basically everything and because it’s colorless ladies, it literally matches everything. #outfitinspo Look, I’m trying to work with the situation gang. These are stadium approved and they come in a few see through colors. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Grab your designer piggly wiggly bag by clicking the image below.

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Game Day Must-Haves: Gear Up for Success

Phone Charger

Yes, I know that little Jimmy making that touchdown is video gold. You need to show it to your overbearing mother in law who lives out of town just to prove that you are in fact ‘good enough for her son’. But, hello, are we really supposed to miss out on 3-5 hours of binging TikTok and YouTube? Me thinks not. This way, we can have both. You can play on your phone when you are standing in line instead of talking to that annoooyyyiiinnnnggg PTA mom who like ‘volunteers at everything’. You can text your friend sitting in another section about the outfits you love or hate from your section and most importantly, you can find your way to the closest liquor store on your way home to grab wine after the game. I mean, you can capture all of those sweet sweet high school memories, because your phone will never die. I mean, like ever, it will be like the Chucky doll, “We’ll be friends till the end!” Yeah, I heard it, I took it too far. 📱

Sunscreen and Sun Hats

Who loves wrinkles? Yes we do. Who loves wrinkles, not me or you! Look, I love little Jimmy as much as the next mom, but when he goes to college, I would rather not have my face double as a catcher’s mitt. I have visions of being a GILF. Yeah, I said it. Let it go Karen. The point is, I want to show up and be supportive, but I don’t want to pay with my face or my skin. First step, buy a hat that covers up my head, my neck and most of my face and then wear that b$tch with pride like I’m sitting at the Kentucky Derby. Oh no, you’re girl doesn’t stop there. Dracula ain’t got nothin on me when it comes to hiding from the sun. I lay the sunscreen on thicker than southerners dishing out compliments at a neighborhood BBQ. #blessyourheart ❤️

Hand Sanitizer

You know how you wait in line for thirty minutes just to relieve the bladder that your children destroyed when you gave those little bundles of joy life? My absolute FAV part is when you finally cut through the maze of pre pubescent girls hogging the sinks and mirrors, only to realize that alas, though you have paid good money for season tickets, extra hand wash just wasn’t in the budget. I literally take matters into my own hands and I just carry my own hand sanitizer. Courtesy of that whole global health situation from a few years back, I have these little gems on hand and they go everywhere where with me. Grab some for yourself and leave the germs to play in the bathroom….’all by themselves’ (just insert the sound of this song being sung by Celine Dion here). Don’t lie, you know the one. 🎶

Sun Protection Makeup

If I didn’t make the point earlier that I value my skin and my face, let me go ahead and slap that *ss one more time to get your attention. Sunscreen is great. Sunscreen with hats is better. Sunscreen with hats, coupled with makeup that pulls double duty as extra sun protection. OMG if you were a man, I would marry you. I love this powder, because it’s translucent and makes me look less like I escaped from a Jiffy Lube at the bottom of the first quarter. I will roll this ball across my face, yes, I heard it 😂 , to soak up all the oil and then powder and apply one of these two lip products to protect my pout. My lips don’t have to look like juicy grapes forever, but I am not trying to have more lines on them than a sheet of music. #protectthepout 💋

Bug Spray

When I think of the ways that our spoiled little monsters, oops, I mean kids, have it these days, it makes me want to disconnect the internet so that they can feel our pain. Ok, with that passive aggressive thought out of the way, I found this product last summer. My daughter had band camp, outside, in Louisiana. For those of you not familiar with our weather or bugs, let’s just say that putting humans outside during the summer is to mosquitoes what throwing chum into the water is to sharks. These bugs are professionals. They wear padding. They train all winter. In an attempt to save my daughter from mosquitos and the smell of DEET, I found this product. You wont see others listed below, because this one is the best. Come on guys, who remembers the nose tingling goodness that was bug spray when we were little? It’s like our parents were trying to play a game…who can we kill first? The bugs or the kids? God, our childhood was like a tiny puppy, ruff. 🐶 This spray works like the Hulk, is odor free and DEET free. Sorry, you will have to find other ways to traumatize your children.

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Game Day School Spirit: Dress to Impress

School Color Face Paint + Nail Polish

I will admit it took a minute for this one to grow on me. In retrospect, I’m not sure why. I’ve been painting my face for years. I have really learned to embrace using this as a way to cover up things I don’t want. Sure, I know that’s not what’s its for, but I think the face paint police take off the night on Fridays. Wrinkles? Turn them purple. Go from wrinkled hag to ‘we’ve got this win in the bag’ with these school spirit color palettes. Don’t you dare forgot to paint your paws either. When you give that dad the bird in the parking lot for cutting you off, you want that as*hole to see it! 🖕

Comfortable Clothing in Team Colors

If only my former mother in law were still in my life, I could just raid her closet for all the tacky colors of the rainbow. Sadly, 💯% sarcasm, she is not, so I had to buy my own brightly colored garb designed to make me look like an adult who got fired from Yo Gabba Gabba. “There’s a party in my tummy, so yummy so yummy yummy.” Look, it was going through my head and now it’s going through yours. I told you we were going to go through it together. I am a woman of my word. All kidding aside, if you are not the kind of person who wants to wear ‘team specific’ gear, just buy a piece or two in your school’s colors and then burn them. I, I mean, wear them, to the games. 🏈

Matching School Color Purse + Tassel

You call it school spirit. I call it an excuse for a new bag. Tomato, Tamato. We all know you don’t need a matching purse or tassels in your school’s colors, but how else are you going to let the other moms know that you are cooler than them? I mean, some people buy cars and have plastic surgery to feel superior, so if you think about it, this is low key a good investment flex to reign supreme among the bleacher Karens. Buy it, flaunt it and let you inner fashionista walk those loud a$s bleachers like the fashion icon that you are. 👛 Piss off Karen, we all know full well you would have a bag in every color if your husband ‘Dan’ would let you go ham on the credit card. 🪪

Football Tattoos

What’s the first rule of face and neck tattoos? Don’t get face and neck tattoos. Duh. But these little gems are the exception to the rule. I love to pull my hair into a pony for morning games and slap these on my face with some sunscreen and lipstick. It says, I’m here, I care enough to cover up my wrinkles and I also kind of, maybe, sort of want our team to win. Plus, if you want to be extra cringe, you can put these on and then look at your partner and ask if they want to ‘play’. What? I was talking tackle football guys. 🏈 Get your minds right. 🤗

Matching Shades

Ok, this is right there with the matching purses and tassels. Only my Extra Queens need apply. 👸🏻 I’ll admit it. I am definitely that mom that would match my sunglasses to my school’s colors. No, silly, it’s not because of school spirit. It’s so that when I am talking to the people I don’t particularly care for, they can talk about my shades and not my neighbors for once. This gives those Gossip Gweneths something to really sink their teeth into. Oh you know the type. Every time you run into them, they have something ‘scandalous’ to tell you. Well at least with your matching shades, you can be rolling your eyes and/or completely tuning them out and they will be mesmerized by your shades and never notice. So, literally, they pay for themselves in that way. 🫨 #gossipgirl

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Game Day Snacks: Fueling Victory

Lunchbox and Lunch Bag

Well we all know that when you are ready to change your diet and eat healthy, you go stand in line at the concession stand. Oh sorry, I was dreaming out loud for a moment. If your stand is like our stand, it’s the SAD (Standard American Diet), which is fine if that’s what you choose to eat, but since I put on weight if I even look at someone else’s burger and fries,🍔 it’s a no from me (insert Simon Cowell’s voice from American Idol here). Skip the line, save the calories for your wine and make everyone ask you those annoying questions, “Wait, which stand is selling that?” It’s a fun game, so mix it up people! 🌭

Water Bottles

I get so excited at the thought of standing in long bathroom lines, listening to the scintillating conversations of high school girls, spilling all of their family drama. I have learned more about some of these families than a 23 And Me DNA report on Christmas morning. 🎄 Even though I do dread the lines, staying hydrated is a key element of enjoying Game Day. I love these two bottles. The smaller ones fit perfectly inside of the lunch bags from above and the bigger one is my all time favorite, sleek and minimalist water bottle. If you are really daring, fill them with Vodka, but you know, don’t drive home that way. Uber for the win y’all! 🍸 #drinkresponsibily

Snacks

Snacks, snacks, they’re good for the heart. Eat too many on Game Day and you’re gonna fart. If we lived in a perfect world, snacks would be at the base of the food pyramid, with a minimum of five servings a day. Alas, we live in the reality where they are usually used as a stop gap measure between meals. I usually eat before I go to the games, but I do get ‘peckish’ when I see everyone else munching on their concession goodies. 🍪 So, rather than scoot up next to a stranger and ask in my best creepy voice if we can “share their nachos”, I just pack my own. These are all great. They will keep you from binging on concession stand food and if you need to bribe a little person to chill the f*ck out until the end of the quarter, these will buy you some time. ⌚️

Protein Powder + Blender Bottle

If other people can drink sugar filled hot cocoa and sodas, y’all better not trip about me shaking it like a polaroid picture on game day. I usually just put the protein in the bottle before the game and then just add water when it’s show time. I also LLOOOOVVVEEE to add peanut butter powder to thicken my shakes and give them a gourmet creaminess, so add that too if you like that kind of shake. 🥜 People always seem to ask me, “So, whatchu got in that bottle?” It’s as if some people have never seen food that doesn’t come in shiny packaging. I always say something insane like, “Wouldn’t you like to know? or Oh, I’m just mixing a little water into my vodka to make my buzz more mellow.” Then I wink and chug that sh*t like a freshman at a frat party. Protein shakes keep you full, kill sugar cravings and help to control that hangry little b%tch that comes out somewhere around third quarter. If you are keto or low sugar, go with Isopure. If you don’t care, go with the other one. They are both so good that my kids drink them daily. God, as a parent, you just really can’t have anything to yourself. My little protein pals. 👩‍👧‍👧

Energy and Mood

Ok, so it’s Friday night. You want to have a cocktail and chill, but sadly for you, sometime about a decade and a half ago, you and your partner got frisky and voila, you’re spending Friday nights at a football game. I don’t drink and drive. I am an absolute maniac about this, but I enjoy a beverage as much as the next person. That said, let me introduce you to the non alcoholic, but mood boosting beverages below. You know that ‘first glass of wine’ buzz that you get. 🍷 These are like that, but you can still drive your little monsters home after the game. Let’s say it’s Saturday morning and you tied one on the night before, get this Stanley French Press and thank me later. This makes the absolute best coffee on Earth. I literally choose this over a trip to Starbucks. Just pour the grounds in the bottom, push the strainer down and dump heavy cream, collagen and your sweetener of choice in here. It’s heaven in a cup. Bonus, you will feel soooo much better by half time.🥛

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Game Day Clothing: Style That Scores

Football Sweatshirts

What can you say about Football sweatshirts? 🤷🏻‍♀️They keep you warm and they cover your fat rolls. I mean not that you have fat rolls. I was obviously talking about my rolls. These make great gifts too, so don’t forget about that pesky little holiday that is trying to creep on us. Can y’all believe it’s only 110 days until Christmas. Let the gluttony begin. 🎁 #christmascountdown

High-Waisted Yoga Pants

If you don’t own a pair of high waisted leggings/yoga pants, exactly what are you doing with your life? I used to wear jeans. Then I had kids and got so tired of hiking them up all the time while balancing two human drool machines on my hips. 🤤 One day, I accepted my fate. If it stretches when I put it on and stays in place, I have decided to wear it with grace. I don’t know if you have ever had the pleasure of staring at the butt crack of the person seated in front of you, but it’s a pretty traumatic experience. Should you look away? Should you pull out a credit card and use their butt crack as a credit card terminal? Charge it. Well, because I like to keep my butt crack to myself when I’m at games, I just wear high waisted leggings. That way, no matter how I sit, stand, bend or lean, I am a butt crack free zone. Please, do this for yourself and do it for others. 🍑 #buttcracklivesmatter

Comfy Tennis Shoes

These two tennis shoes are my go to shoes for football season. They go with literally everything and they are honest to God, all day kind of comfortable. Now, if you want to teeter up and down the bleachers in flip flops or heels and take your life into your own hands, you do you queen. 👠 Trying to go up and down bleachers in any other shoes scares me worse than a weight scale after Taco Tuesday. Bonus, you can creep up on people who are playing on their phones before or during the game. These shoes are ninja level silent, so you can stalk your prey and then attack in total silence. You’re welcome. 👟

One-Piece Outfits

Ok, it took me a while to get back into these, because for a long time, I regarded one piece outfits as made for babies and toddlers. But hey, why should those little boob suckers have all the comfort. 👶 I purchased the sleeveless black unitard below after seeing it for 49th million time on my TikTok page. You’re girl was curious. Ok guys, this thing is the way, the truth and the light of my closet. It is worth they hype. You can wear this with a tshirt tied up on the side, a sweatshirt, a button down or a million other ways. I could not love this thing more, which is why I own all of the pieces below. The ‘throw and go’ convenience of a one piece outfit is a must for busy moms. When it gets chilly, throw on a cardigan , a shacket (I’m so 2022 with that one 🙄), or a long coat with a cross body bag and you’re out the door. I also love that they fall into the buttcrack free protection zone. Seriously, by one. You won’t go back to regular clothing.

Game Day Accessories

Look Game Days either come at the end of a busy week or first thing on a weekend morning, neither of which I love. That said, if you just aren’t feeling it, you could throw your hair in a messy bun and add a big school colored bow or earrings. 🎀 You will get all the credit of having ‘school spirit’, minus the headache. I love to accessorize my very neutral wardrobe with pieces like this. That way, I look less like a full time TeleTubby and more like I raided a party city for the day. We’ve got spirit, yes we do. We’ve got accessories. How ’bout you? 👐

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Now that you’ve got the ultimate Game Day gear, get out there and make those other families jealous! So gear up, show your school spirit, and let’s make this Football Season one for the books! 🏈🎉💅🕶️🎒

Thanks for spending some time with me. Stay winners out there. Remember, this blog post, unlike your lukewarm beer, 🍺 should be shared with a friend. See you in the next one!